Regarding the
privations of ordinary childhood he sees today,
combined with the
extra problems of stressed-out parents, Gabor
says “When it comes to addiction, these effects are
additive, so that
if a child has a number of these adverse childhood
experiences, his
chance of becoming a drug addict later on, or any kind of an addict,
go up
exponentially.”
What also similarly rises, he
continues, are diseases like heart
disease and stroke, depression, ADD and
suicide.
To the extent
that modem life does not provide sustained reliable
emotionally nurturing from parents, children will suffer the effects
of disturbed attachment/empathy.
Forced to turn to peers who
are in turn less reliably nurturing due to
their own immaturity, children
often “harden off” to isolate
themselves from the slings and arrows of unreliable peer-
upbringing, and
become increasingly more unavailable for
caring emotional learning from
adults. Thus begins the vicious cycle
of
an unraveling culture…
Addiction
is Not a Genetic Condition!
Most doctors fall under the
"genetic" error and such flawed thinking
is behind the proliferation
in prescriptions for ADD and "psychosis"
(quotes mine), unethical practices if starkly criminal. Misdiagnosed
children by the millions being are dosed with
powerful adult drugs
either totally inappropriate or bodily debilitating or both.
This social insanity is
itself the result of the death of community.
To the extent we as a society
recognize and address the specific
issues raised in this article, we will
mitigate the crisis of addiction
and the related violated spiritual integrity
we see in our world. Mate
can sure say it better than me though, so I suggest
you give a listen.
http://www.resilience.org/stories/2010-12-28/dr-gabor-mat%C3%A9-stress-disease-connection-addiction-attention-deficit-disorder-and-
1. Faithsays:
August 31, 2015 at 22:04
Thank you, I really really
needed this! I am actually a recovering alcoholic and I am very well aware that
a large number of factors in my childhood contributed to me doing exactly what
was mentioned here, isolating and shielding myself off which gave rise to my
addiction. Now that I am a mother myself I try to keep extra vigilant about
creating an emotionally healthy and secure environment for my daughter. I know
that enviorment starts with me being available, supportive, and calm.
REPLY
1. Avera Yugensays:
August 31, 2015 at 22:57
Well I sure love hearing that
Faith! You are a great example of someone for whom “quitting is gaining” is a
truism ;=)
You should be very proud of
yourself. Thank you so much for that wonderful feedback and do stick around,
the site is growing slowly but surely and you might be interested in my future
articles…one of which will be about addictions and simultaneous smoking and
also how people with pervasive mental health issues…cope with quitting any
addiction. Also discussed will be the way they are commonly let down by their
health practitioners. Should be a hoot ;=)
Take care always,
Avera
REPLY
1. chrisJsays:
August 27, 2015 at 17:12
Great post and very
informative. this was well done and very helpful. Many parents are struggling
with addiction and it really does leak into their parenting and the kids see
it. The video helped distinguish his problem and I also like how you said that
ADD and addiction are not linked together. Nice post.
REPLY
1. Avera Yugensays:
August 27, 2015 at 20:36
I absolutely do believe that
ADD and addiction are linked, So does Gabor Mate. To the extent that both
situations involve coping with our unmet needs…..they are absolutely linked.
They also both involve behavior that looks like it results from unmet needs.
Both behaviors also seem driven somehow. The anxiety factor plays a large role
in both situations. Finally the feeling of cycling
relief/anxiety/relief….characterizes both situations.
The reason Mate is involved
with trying to treat both conditions is that he himself suffers from both
conditions, and he is constantly explaining how the two situations (for him at
least) do seem to interact.
But with directed meditation
aimed toward a fuller awareness of exactly what we are doing, we can begin to
get a grip on just who we are that wants to be free. Then with careful
attention to diet and exercise and working with a coach perhaps, we can start
getting clear about who we really are in general…and what has been impairing
our optimal human development.
From there we learn to make
real changes in our lives because we have the experience of both feeling like
we are being taken over by something and also the beginnings of that incredible
FREEDOM we all love to love ;=)
REPLY
1. Johnd438says:
August 14, 2015 at 17:21
Its like you read my mind!
You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or
something. I think that you could do with a few pics to drive the message home
a little bit, but other than that, this is great blog. An excellent read. I will
certainly be back. beafafdgdeka
REPLY
1. Avera Yugensays:
August 14, 2015 at 20:17
Hey John thanks so much for
that! I work hard at collecting my material and having a real purpose for
saying stuff and quoting stuff and I think people are getting it that my
approach is different. it’s not about technique which is never the “point” to
good health sites….but about a sound theory of persons and how personal health
gets accessed through self knowledge and self compassion.
We don’t need to be rocket
scientists but we do need to know some solid questions about why are we even
here occupying this planet and further questions about mass suffering on such a
wide basis IF we know anything now…and then most importantly what do we do now
if we are still stuck. That’s how I think and that’s how all caring people
should think. Get the questions right and we have a chance to solve some heavy
hitter issues.
Warmly,
Avera
REPLY
1. Smithk5says:
August 3, 2015 at 08:43
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REPLY
1. Avera Yugensays:
August 13, 2015 at 09:31
Thank you so much for saying
that. I feel empowered by your appreciation and also dream of overcoming many
personal obstacles with my work here.
REPLY
1. Johna670says:
August 3, 2015 at 08:42
Thanks so much for sharing
all with the awesome info! I am looking forward to checking out far more posts!
eeeeaedfbccb
REPLY
1. Avera Yugensays:
August 13, 2015 at 09:33
I will also look forward to
hearing from you and sharing any news which may help us with this long
life-work of self-improvement….
Thank
you for the positive feeedback!
Avera
REPLY
1. Angelsays:
July 21, 2015 at 07:25
Dear Avera,
Great article. I couldn’t
have agreed with you more. As parents are more busier than ever with their
jobs, they have less family time to spend with their kids and raise them right.
And, so in turn many adolescents partner up with their peers to get through
life or try to understand what to do next. Peers are usually vulnerable and
immature because they too had a tough upbringing that would have led them to
take on a certain addiction just to get on by, to bottle up the pain, they
might have an addiction for painkillers or drugs to numb the pain they feel
deep inside.
However, overcoming addiction
is quite a challenge because it is a tough choice to make in order to stop a
certain act and then improve oneself for the better. I have had friends who had
been addicted to smoking for years and could not bring themselves to stop it
because they told me that they started this behavior early on.
Overcoming an addiction is
not impossible, but it takes a great willingness from the person to do their
role and make a change for the greater good of not only themselves but for
those that care about their well being and health too.
Wishing you all the best with
your futuristic endeavors above and beyond the horizon,
~Angel
REPLY
1. Avera Yugensays:
July 21, 2015 at 12:33
That is a great response
Angel. If our unmet needs lead to these artificial cravings then the solution
is to discover the REAL ones and try to get them met as best as possible. Until
then we are just trying to numb ourselves from all the secret pains we deny. No
wonder addiction is so hard to overcome when we are still fighting so hard NOT
to feel certain truths within ourselves.
This is true for any
addiction or destructive habit etc… large or small.
Dr. Mate reminds us that the
secret is in YIELDING, feeling the vulnerability of that… and then after
realizing and mourning our losses begins the long road to regained serenity and
glowing good health.
Thanks
again,
Avera
REPLY
1. Igorsays:
July 19, 2015 at 14:57
Hi Avera, thank you fo great
article and great video. Unfortunately addiction is more and more present today
and it is actually a way how people trying to relax. They are not aware that
they could do much better things for relaxation. Thank you again. Keep up the
great works
Regards
Igor
REPLY
1. Avera Yugensays:
July 19, 2015 at 18:39
Hi Igor and thank you for
your wonderfully thoughtful remark! You know, the feeling of being ok is all
addicts want. It is what everyone wants. Unfortunately, as Mate says, most of
us cannot seem to be ok on our own because so much gets taken from us as small
children, by a warped system that dis- empowers our parents and our community.
Then we use these compulsive
habits to provide the “ok” feeling we could never get before. Finally with
enough time, we become addicted through chemical rewiring. But once we
understand those unmet needs and strive to get them met now (yes we can do it
later…with consciousness) we will become stronger in giving up these artificial
attachments. it is never easy, but once an addiction is overcome the feeling of
being OK without anything but the “normal” stuff…is simply miraculous ;=)
