Some Funny Songs About Smoking

Well just as a comic-relief break I present you some funny songs about smoking. I hope you like them!

“Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! That Cigarette”

Now I’m a fellow with a heart of gold
With the ways of a gentleman I’ve been told
A kind of a fellow that wouldn’t even harm a flea
But if me and a certain character met
That guy that invented the cigarette
I’d murder that son of a gun in the first degreeThat ain’t that I don’t smoke myself
And I don’t reckon they’ll injure your health
I’ve smoked ’em all my life and I ain’t dead yet
But nicotine slaves are all the same
At a pheasant party or a poker game
Everythin’s gotta stop when they have that cigaretteSmoke smoke smoke that cigarette
Puff puff puff
And if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St Peter at the Golden Gate
That you hate to make him wait
But you just gotta have another cigaretteNow at a game of chance the other night
Ol’ Dame Forson wasn’t doin’ me right
Them kings and queens just kept on comin’ round
Well I got a full and I bet it high
But my plug didn’t work on a certain guy
He just kept a risin’ and a layin’ that money down
He’s raise me and I’d raise him
I sweated blood I had to sink or swim
He finally called and he didn’t raise the bet
I said “aces is full pal how about you?”
He said “I’ll tell you in a minute or two
But I just gotta have another cigarette”Smoke smoke smoke that cigarette
Puff puff puff
And if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St Peter at the Golden Gate
That you hate to make him wait
But you just gotta have another cigarette[guitar – steel]The other night I had a date with
The cutest gal in the fifty states
A highbred uptown social little dame
She said she loved me and it seemed to me
That things were like they oughta be
So hand in hand we strolled down Lover’s Lane
She was oh so far from a chunk of ice
And our smoochin’ party was a goin’ real nice
So help and I think I’d’ve been there yet
But I give her a hug and a little squeeze
And she said “Willie excuse me please
But I just gotta have another cigarette”
Smoke smoke smoke that cigarette
Puff puff puff
And if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St Peter at the Golden Gate
That you hate to make him wait
But you just gotta have another cigarette
Smoke smoke smoke that cigarette
Puff puff puff
And if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St Peter at the Golden Gate
That you hate to make him wait
But you just gotta have another cigarette
Just gotta have another cigarette

Copyright: Willie Nelson & Tex Williams

 

“Lazy Mary”

C’ ‘na luna mezz’u mare
Mamma mia m’a maritare
Figlia mia a cu te dare
Mamma mia pensace tu
Se te piglio lu pesciaiole
Isse vai isse vene
Sempe lu pesce mane tene
Se ce ‘ncappa la fantasia
Te pesculia figghiuzza mia
Là lariulà pesce fritt’e baccalà
Uei cumpà no calamare c’eggi’accattà

C’ ‘na luna mezz’u mare
Mamma mia m’a maritare
Figlia mia a cu te dare
Mamma mia pensace tu
Se te piglio lu pulezia
Isse vai isse vene
Semp’a scuppetta mane tene
Se ce ‘ncappa la fantasia
Te scuppettea figghiuzza mia
Là lariulà pesce fritt’e baccalà
Uei cumpà ‘na scuppetta c’eggi’accattà

Lazy Mary you better get up
She answered back I am not able
Lazy Mary you better get up
We need the sheets for the table
Lazy Mary you smoke in bed
There’s only one man you should marry
My advice to you would be
Is to pay attention to me
You’d better marry a fireman
He’ll come and go, go and come

Sempe la pompa mane tene
Se ce ‘ncappa la fantasia
Te pomperia figghiuzza mia
Là lariulà pesce fritt’e baccalà
Uei cumpà ‘na pompina c’eggi’accattà
0 cummà ca m’ voglio marità
Trovame ‘na uagliotta
Ca me voglio marità
Trovame ‘na uagliotta
Ca me voglio marità
Trovame ‘na uagliotta
Ca me voglio marità
Hey!

Copyright: Lou Monte